Camp description, Portfolio Sample

Giant Swing

CAMP DESCRIPTION

Achievement Objectives:

Purposes and audiences

• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
• INDICATORS:
• –  constructs texts that show a growing awareness of purpose and audience through careful choice of content, language, and text form;
• –  conveys and sustains personal voice where appropriate.

Ideas

Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.

INDICATORS:

• –  forms and expresses ideas and information with increased clarity, drawing on a range of sources;
• –  adds or changes details and comments to support ideas, showing some selectivity in the process;
• –  ideas suggest awareness of a range of dimensions or viewpoints.

Language features

Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.

• INDICATORS:
• –  uses oral, written, and visual language features to create meaning and effect and engage interest;
• –  uses a range of vocabulary to communicate meaning;
• –  demonstrates good understanding of all basic spelling patterns and sounds in written English;
• –  uses an increasing range of strategies to self-monitor and self-correct spelling;
• –  writes legibly, fluently, and with ease when creating texts;
• –  uses a range of text conventions, including most grammatical conventions, appropriately and with increasing accuracy.

Structure

• Show a developing understanding of text structures.
• INDICATORS:
• –  understands that the order and organisation of words, sentences, paragraphs, and images contribute to and affect text meaning;
• –  identifies a range of text forms and recognises some of their characteristics and conventions.
• 
  

Motivation:

• Write a description about one event/experience from camp.

Key outcomes:

• To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths - simple/compound/complex
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

My draft and editing:

Published writing:

Have you ever felt like giving on something that you thought would be easy. Well let me tell you it isn't a great feeling.

I started feeling like it was going to be a breeze. But then as I saw other people people going up it, I started feeling as small as a mouse. When I first got in the harness I felt like a hunchback. As I got connected to the steel bar, I knew I was going to be challenged. I sat back and relaxed until I got all the way to the top.

When I got to the top I had the butterflies. I took a second and waited until... I pulled the rope to make

me swing. "Whoosh" I went down the 17.5 meter swing. It was awesome, It felt great. Even though I dropped my gut, I enjoyed every bit of it.

When I got back on the ground it felt amazing. Especially when I got the harness off. I felt like I could do it all again.

My reflection and next step:
I like the way I used a variety of sentence types.
My next step is to use more descriptive language.